Battle of the Pizzatarians
by Roniturtle
Summary: After his sons battle over pizza, Splinter tries to appease their appetites. Just a one-shot. Don't own the turtles or Splinter or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Please enjoy and review.


Battle of the Pizzatarians

"Hey Mikey," Leo greeted his youngest brother as he walked into the kitchen with Raph and Donnie trailing behind him. "What cha making?"

Mikey looked up at his brothers as they came sauntering in. "I'm making a pizza bro." He crowed as he tossed the dough into the air and caught it expertly on his fingers, twirling it around like a Frisbee.

"Oh no," Raph moaned. "Remember what happened the last time he made pizza."

"Yeah, we couldn't get rid of the smell for days." Donnie commented.

"Uh, Mikey," Leo watched apprehensively as Mikey poured sauce on the dough. "What kind of pizza were you thinking of making?"

"Oh it's gonna be so good." Mikey danced his way over to the freezer, opened the door and smiled at little critter inside. "Need a cheese-sicle my little ice cream kitty." He sang. The cat meowed as she handed over the frozen cheese and Mikey petted her head. "This pizza is gonna have everything!" He continued as he grated the cheese over the round pie. "I'm gonna have pepperoni, mushrooms, jelly beans, marshmallows, hot sauce and…."

"Yuck. If you're going to do a pizza Mikey," Raph interrupted. "Do one that's gonna build muscle." He flexed his biceps as he went over to the refrigerator. After a few moments, he began pulling out sausages, pepperoni, bacon and ham. "A meat lover's pizza is way better then jelly beans and marshmallows."

"Why do we have to have all that meat?" Donnie demanded. "How 'bout some vegetables." He went into the refrigerator and pulled out the mushrooms, peppers, spinach, tomatoes and onions.

"Ugh," Leo put his hand on his stomach. "Can't we just have something simple like pepperoni and cheese?" He made his way over to a cabinet. "I'll even go for some black olives."

"Hey!" Mikey cried out when his brothers attempted to start putting their own ingredients on his pizza. "I'm making this pizza and I say what goes on it!" He took his pizza away and began quickly dumping hot sauce all over it.

"Is there any more dough?" Donnie asked. "Maybe you can three more for us."

"Sorry D," Mikey said as he began placing marshmallows on top of the cheese. "No more flour."

"How bout you split the pizza in fourths," Leo suggested.

"No way!" Raph interjected. "I don't want that crap on any part of my pizza." He quickly ran around the other side of Mikey and shoved him out of the way. He held Mikey back with his shell and quickly began picking off the marshmallows.

"Raph!" Mikey tried to push him out of the way but Raph, being stronger than him, managed to keep him at arm's length as he flung marshmallows at him. "That's my pizza, let go!" Mikey demanded, ducking around the flying marshmallows.

"I want meat!" Raph yelled at him.

"I'm putting pepperoni on it but I want my jelly beans and marshmallows!" Mikey yelled back as he stomped on Raph's foot.

"OW!" Raph growled. "I don't want that garbage on my pizza." He yelled as he grabbed a handful of sausage and flung it hard toward Mikey.

Mikey ducked the onslaught of flying meat and watched as it went over his head and hit Donnie full in the face. "RAPH!" Donnie yelled. He grabbed some peppers and threw it towards Raph. Mikey, meanwhile, had turned back to Raph to raspberry him but was interrupted when a he felt the peppers hit the back of his head.

"Hey!" Mikey turned to Donnie and threw jelly beans at him. "What's the big deal?"

Donnie grabbed some mushrooms. "I was trying to get Raph!" He said throwing the mushrooms at him.

"Well ya got me instead D!" He yelled. He threw some of the jelly beans at Donnie then turned to back to Raph and threw more at him. "Now give me back my pizza!" He demanded again.

"NO!" Raph yelled as his hand deliberately grabbed some pepperoni and smashed it in Mikey's face.

"Hey that's not fair!" Mikey yelled out.

"Guys!" Leo yelled. "Enough!" He went over to where Raph and Mikey were currently wrestling and throwing food at each other. He tried to step in between the two feuding turtles but failed to miss some peppers on the floor. He stepped right on top of them causing him to slip and fall backwards. He reached out and grabbed at Mikey who lost his footing and fell to the floor. As he did, his hands reached out and grabbed at the pizza causing it to fall on the floor.

"Hey my pizza!" Mikey yelled. "It's ruined!" He grabbed some of the dough and threw it at Leo. "Thanks a lot Leo!"

"It's not my fault." Leo yelled back and grabbed some of the dough and threw it back at him. Leo then attempted to get up but slipped on sauce, he fell against Raph who had thrown more meat at Donnie before falling onto the floor.

"What the hell Leo!" Raph yelled as he attempted to get up but due to the slippery floor, ended up falling back onto Mikey knocking him back down.

"Hah…servers you right!" Donnie chortled.

Raph growled and grabbed a fistful of dough and threw it at Donnie's laughing mouth. Donnie fell back against the table and started coughing as some of the dough got into his mouth. "Gah, that's disgusting." He yelled and threw more vegetables at his failing brothers still attempting to get off the floor.

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In another part of the lair, Master Splinter sat in the dojo in the lotus position under his tree. His mind was at peace, his body in a zen-like state as he felt his spirit floating away to a higher plane. Until loud noises coming from the kitchen quickly brought him back to the reality of the physical plane. He let out an annoyed huff and got up. Making his way angrily toward the kitchen where loud angry yells were coming from, he poked his head inside and gasped at the horrifying sight before him.

"HAJIME!" He yelled out. "What is going on in here?!"

His four sons stopped what they were doing and looked up in fear to see Splinter angrily step just inside the kitchen. He scowled down at his four sons as his eyes roamed over the kitchen. "What have you to say for yourselves?" He demanded.

Immediately, his sons started talking over each other in an attempt to explain what was happening.

"Master Splinter, Mikey's trying to make a gross out pizza again!" Raph told him trying to get up.

"He won't let us have what we want." Donnie insisted, wiping pizza dough and sauce off his face.

"Raph stole my pizza and started throwing food at me." Mikey yelled pushing against Raph again.

"I tried to stop them but no one would listen!" Leo yelled over his brothers.

"Oh your such a goody three toes aren't ya lame-o-nardo?" Raph sneered and threw more dough at him.

"Well you shouldn't be throwing food at everyone Raph." Leo retorted throwing food back at him.

"And you shouldn't be trying to take my pizza!" Mikey yelled at both of them.

"Well, you should try and share!" Donnie demanded.

"ENOUGH!" Splinter yelled over his sons. He looked from one turtle to the next before taking a look around the kitchen and letting out a deep long breath. "Clean this mess up." He ordered. " _I_ will deal with dinner." He walked out of the kitchen leaving the four turtles to grumble among themselves while cleaning up the mess they made.

One hour later, Splinter made his way to the kitchen to see his sons had finished cleaning up. The four turtles stood by the table and watched as he made his way through the kitchen looking around and running his hand along the table and counters. He nodded in approval. "Very well." He told them. "It looks like you have done a fine job of cleaning." He made his way out of the kitchen.

"Uh, Sensei?" Mikey called out.

"Yes Michelangelo?"

"What about dinner?" He asked.

"I said I would take care of it," Splinter looked back with a sly smile. "And I have."

His sons looked at each other curiously then followed the large brown rat out into the main room.

"Aw yeah," Mikey sang out. "Something smells good!"

"Hey guys." April and Casey stood up and greeted them. "Master Splinter had us get some pizza for everyone." Casey told them.

There on the coffee table, were five different types of pizzas. Splinter smiled as he brought over a special pizza for Mikey. "Here you are my son." He told him. "A pizza made just for you."

Mikey's mouth drooled when he saw the pizza covered with Jelly beans, marshmallows, pepperoni and jalapenos. "Wow thanks Sensei!" He took the pizza, sat down on the couch and quickly began to devour the pie.

"Thank you Sensei." His other sons echoed.

Splinter turned to them and bowed. He then picked up a smaller pizza covered with extra cheese and sat on the couch, smiling happily as he watched his four sons and their two friends enjoying dinner.

'Oh well,' He thought to himself with a chuckle as he took a bite of his cheesy treat. 'The things a father must do to keep peace in the home.' He winced and shook his head as a loud sounding belch from Michelangelo reached his ears.

~The End~


End file.
